Have You Fallen Lately?
I was out West, skiing the Rockies. On my second day, I decided to take a multi-day small group lesson to attempt to move up to the next competency level. I gave it all I had, trying to do some new techniques. As a consequence, I spent a lot of time with my face planted in the snow.
We stopped for lunch, carbo loading for a long afternoon. As we all settled in around the table, one of my classmates said to me: "I really admire your ability to not become embarrassed after so many falls." I wasn't sure if I was getting a compliment or a gentle rebuke. Frankly, I did not know what to say. The instructor, Barbara, came to my rescue.
"Actually, I thought Bob was doing well because he fell."
HUH?
"The hardest part of learning is that feeling of incompetence we have when we are attempting something new and making mistakes. Frankly, I'd like to see everyone fall more this afternoon. Then we'll know what to work on tomorrow."
Well, as you can imagine, the afternoon was a bit different from the morning. We looked like a bunch of really committed, accident-prone kamikaze skiers. Tons of laughter and a fun day of learning. No shame.
Now here is where we take it from mildly interesting to relevant for you and me. When was the last time you let yourself fall? Because I guarantee that if you have not failed (fallen) lately, you are not performing better than your past. Here are a few reasons we tell ourselves not to fail:
1. People might not respect me if I fail. 2. Confidence is based on expertise, not failure. 3. Failure will be catastrophic. 4. I'm paid to succeed, not fail. 5. I am doing just fine as I am.
Any of these sound familiar?
The capacity to acquire knowledge from a new experience, then reapply it in another, different, situation is called Learning Agility by psychologists. It is the single best predictor of leadership success. It does not happen unless we are willing and able to get outside our comfort zone to become more agile as a learner. So, in the spirit of agile learning, here are some fast ways to overcome those obstacles above.
1. The concern about how others will see us, and performing for the audience is the root of all shame. Worse yet, this concern keeps us in our "safe zone" where we can be assured of successfully pleasing the audience by not making a mistake. Unfortunately, this also keeps us from improvement. The solution is typically to give our minds something to occupy us while our body or previous practice can take over. In a meeting this may mean really tracking how someone is listening or by asking questions...really good questions. Sometimes I sing a song or do arithmetic in my head. Remember, people will always respect you for improving. As a leader, trying to get better at something will also make you more approachable.
2. No, confidence is based on mastery. Mastery only results through practice (Gladwell's 10,000 hour rule). Practice means failing, before succeeding. Show me a person who is afraid of failure during practice and I'll show you a failure.
3. Maybe yes, probably no. The "catastophic failure voice" is really that small child who lives inside all of us telling us we are not strong. By only considering the worst-case scenario, we are paralyzed. The solution? Do a rational risk/reward analysis of the situation and consciously score the probability of various scenarios. Let your adult/rational mind take over.
4. True. But I bet your boss/organization/partner has more than one goal for you to strive for. Financial? Team? Learning? Personal Growth? And I believe they also have process goals in mind. I think that the way way to leverage this belief in a way that is helpful is probably to create milestone goals that compliment the outcome goals that come so easily to mind. The combo will build a balance between outcome measures and process measures. This is part of the Balanced Scorecard approach that many of us use.
5. I think you really do not believe this. Why? Because you are here with me today. There is a small voice that is telling you there is more. And there is more.And even if, right now, there is nothing more...that's cool too. My experience is that personal growth and leadership mastery do not take place in a straight line. My experience is that we go through waves of learning; coasting when we are in our comfort zone, then ramping our engagement up when we experience a gap between our current and desired capacity. There is some amazing research into the role that boredom plays in learning and insight.
What all of these suggestions have in common is a willingness to initially fail.
So let me ask again:
Have you "fallen" lately? If you haven't, you are probably not succeeding.
That is part of Innovation.
Originally published HERE.
